Foster care is an arrangement wherein adults temporarily take children whose birth parents don’t have the capacity to take care of them under their wing. As opposed to adoption, the main goal of foster care is to eventually reunite the child with their birth parent.
Although, adoption through kinship care is also acceptable at certain times especially when it is in the child’s best interest. A good foster home can make or break a person. This is the reason why it is important that you know the aspects that will be affected once a child who went through a very bad past becomes fostered.
This way, a foster parent can employ measures to make sure that they grow up well and little by little, leave their troubled past behind.
Usually, youth who have undergone fostering fall behind their age group. Few of the effects that this set-up might produce are late personality development and a tendency to distance themselves due to the age gap. As parents, what you can do is to encourage them to mingle while treating them the same way you would treat someone in the same age.
Especially for the children who can already understand bits and pieces of what happened before they were fostered, it is very common for a child to have mental trauma. Take note that a change of environment doesn’t solve the problem.
Although, having someone to catch them and take care of them makes a huge difference. This is due to the foster family being able to provide the child with mental health care service, thus, addressing the problem.
Due to an unstable environment that a child was exposed to, their physical growth may not be what it was supposed to be if they were exposed in a more stable environment. This is one of the easiest aspects that you, as a parent can deal with because supervision with regards to the nutrition they consume as well as occasional exercises will suffice.
In some cases, hiring a nutritionist may also be considered if their current state is way behind that what you expected.
Most of the time, children who have been separated from their birth parents have undergone emotional pressure and even torture. This causes massive trauma in their lives which could continue even after moving on to a new family. If you feel that your foster child constantly breaks-down or exhibits other disturbing behavior, have them checked by behavioral health and developmental services. Eventually, you’ll see an impressive improvement in their behavior.
Curses coming out from the mouth of a 9-year old is not new anymore especially when they’ve undergone so much trauma at such a young age. Sometimes, to serve as a defense mechanism, they will shut off everyone who wants to get close to them by treating them badly. As foster parents, instead of fighting fire with fire, let’s keep our heads down and slowly ease them up until they give in.
These children, they are just victims. And so, as adults, we need to understand that there are no shortcuts to healing those wounds. If you are truly serious in giving these children a chance, shower them with love, care, and support. Be patient with them and give them the medical attention that they need.